Feb. 24, 2008

Grandpa's health is deteriorating quickly...he's had a rough beginning of the year, but by the summer he seemed so much better, but come fall he was on oxygen full time and around Christmas he was still himself, a little winded, but still goofing off, and walking around. Now he can't walk, he can barely talk, he doesn't recognize people sometimes, and other times he does...he didn't recognize me when I first went to his house on Sunday, he didn't know who I was and the look in his eyes was that he didn't know me...no warmth, not a grandfather looking at his granddaughter....and I had to leave the room and have a big cry. By the time we left that evening, the recognition was back in his eyes, he knew who I was, and he told me "I love you....so much" with his labored breathing talk....and he held my hand like this for half hour, if I moved my hand, he gripped tighter....and I want to remember that moment of him recognizing me and me seeing the love in his eyes, and the joy I felt that he remembered me before we left his house on Sunday, and him not wanting to let go of my hand.....I'm scared of losing him...